I heard we made out
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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