the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
