every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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