At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
