he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
