I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
