Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
