at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
