I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dignity is for republicans.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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