Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
