he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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