apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
