I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
