you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
