I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
