We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
