I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
