you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
