i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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