god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
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