I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
