Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.

Fav 12 4436 1302
share tweet
(208): View more from Idaho

he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"

Fav 26 7895 1643
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

It was just a squirrel

(253): View more from Washington

You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar

Fav 12 6137 1399
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.

Fav 3 1677 2502
share tweet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me

Fav 5 2707 944
share tweet
(416): View more from Toronto

They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water

Fav 5 838 1774
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.

Fav 7 1573 775
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.

Fav 0 724 398
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(620): View more from Kansas

I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.

Fav 0 159 45
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT