I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
