I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.