yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.