i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
