Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol