Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
