My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
