so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
