have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
