i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
