Im at strip club and am horny
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize