He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
