Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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