We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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