I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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