Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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