Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
