You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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