so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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