So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
