If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
