Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
