No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
