come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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