I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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