Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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