Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize