It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
