when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
