first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
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Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
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I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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