I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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