Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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