i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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