Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
