HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
