Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
