do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize