She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
