she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
