your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.