Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
