I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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